Sunday, August 12, 2012

Imposter mommy

As I've written before and commented about here, I don't really feel like an imposter as a scientist. But now that I think about it, I do feel like an imposter when I walk around with BlueEyes. For some reason I always assume that people must think that I'm the nanny and not his mom. I think this happens in part because BlueEyes goes to a relatively expensive daycare that we are only able to afford thanks to a scholarship, so most of the other parents are 5 to 10 years older than we are. They come into the daycare professionally dressed for their 'real' jobs, whereas I walk in my flip flops and jeans to go to the lab.
The imposter feeling has faded a bit now that BlueEyes is getting older and I feel more like a mom (yes that took a bit of time to sink in). But I still occasionally wonder whether people think I'm the nanny...


  1. I try to consider what other people think of me as none of my business. After all, your relationship with BlueEyes is unaffected by what they think, right?

    1. True, but the whole point of imposter syndrome is that you think that other people will find out that you're an imposter right? Being unaffected by what (I think) other people think of me is one of the hardest things to do IMO.

    2. YES! It's incredibly hard. I didn't mean to imply otherwise.

  2. Who cares! But also don't you have "rich people" playing "hipsters" in your community? Where we live they certainly do.

  3. I do think that sometimes the other parents at Kiddo's daycare think that I'm the nanny or babysitter. Especially since I wear my standard postdoc uniform (Tshirt and jeans) and most of the other parents are doctors or other healthcare professionals. I worried more about it at the start, but I've gotten used to it by now.

    However, sometimes I do feel like an imposter as far as knowing what to do in certain situations is concerned (eg. Is Kiddo eating enough? How do I get him to drink out of a cup? Am I too unstructured of a parent because I don't care when Kiddo sleeps/eats, etc. as long as he does so?).

  4. Hey, I have a "real job" (if being a professor is considered one) and so does my husband (staff at univ), but being university folks we are always very casually dressed (mostly jeans, with shoes and a decent top, but still way less dressy than most other parents who are going to corporate gigs.

    I don't give a fuck. I know I don't look like a grownup, but the corporate drone uniform makes me shudder anyway. Fuckin' khakis and polos.