tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923282658637824205.post7487943552000777021..comments2024-03-26T10:41:42.117-07:00Comments on InBabyAttachMode: Dealing with disappointmentInBabyAttachModehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07895094545069682233noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923282658637824205.post-27244239370513992102013-05-31T17:45:31.951-07:002013-05-31T17:45:31.951-07:00;-) Thanks for your comment!;-) Thanks for your comment!InBabyAttachModehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07895094545069682233noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923282658637824205.post-40292107467895043142013-05-31T17:38:26.284-07:002013-05-31T17:38:26.284-07:00I deal with it by surfing to a babywearing/natural...I deal with it by surfing to a babywearing/natural parenting forum, which is actualy how I got to be on this site. It's 2.30 AM in the homecountry now, and I am writing a grant proposal and revising two papers. The comments by reviewers and co-autors still feel like a blow to the head, I must say. Nice to here it gets better. <br /><br />Reading this was just what I needed so thank you.<br /><br />x<br />onemonkey :)<br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923282658637824205.post-62013169406790396362013-05-30T15:22:53.920-07:002013-05-30T15:22:53.920-07:00I found this video to be very helpful on dealing w...I found this video to be very helpful on dealing with rejection (hang on through the beginning, what he says at the end is the best part): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWVElQ6NfcE Also, rejection isn't necessarily your fault. An arbitrary group of people reviewed your application, and who knows why they didn't choose you. See this great study that just came out: http://journals.cambridge.org/action/displayAbstract?fromPage=online&aid=6577844 As your advisor says, try again. You've been rolling winning dice, and you finally got a bad roll.Alexis Ruddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15583537173720113601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923282658637824205.post-38974416483506692732013-05-30T12:46:53.424-07:002013-05-30T12:46:53.424-07:00Ha. The American version is to sail through things...Ha. The American version is to sail through things.Bashirnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923282658637824205.post-55712791577858943202013-05-30T12:40:03.888-07:002013-05-30T12:40:03.888-07:00Yes true. Husband and I are actually applying for ...Yes true. Husband and I are actually applying for the same fellowships mostly.InBabyAttachModehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07895094545069682233noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923282658637824205.post-7062785980756516282013-05-30T12:30:27.902-07:002013-05-30T12:30:27.902-07:00Yeah, this is particularly timely for me as well a...Yeah, this is particularly timely for me as well and I have no good way of dealing with it. I feel like dual career academics are even worse off in this regard, particularly when rejection happens to both partners at the same time. I'm hoping that dealing with rejection is yet another skill I will gain...sarahttp://www.twitter.com/sargoshoenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923282658637824205.post-49184838280574852632013-05-30T10:16:25.762-07:002013-05-30T10:16:25.762-07:00"I would be ecstatic if I would get invited a..."I would be ecstatic if I would get invited and heartbroken if I wouldn’t and I find it hard to just sit and wait until I get the email to tell me which it is."<br /><br />Right there with you. Sort of, waiting for that email to know if I passed my certification or not... I think I didn't but hope I did and I won't find out until later in June. alas, I try to shift it tothe back of the mind and not think about it until the email comes around.<br /><br />Then I will probalby beat myself up a little if I failed/rejected, maybe a tear or two, sulk and then go to the gym and work out so I get my endorphine kick and get the heavy bag with the disapppointment out of the body. Then home, eat nice dinner & ice cream (probably some wine) and then watch a happy movie. The day after read over the email/comments. Take it in, try and read the original proposal with "new eyes" and try and get the main points of what I missed. Then start over again and try not to second guess when sending in the next proposal a la goldfish memory ^^<br /><br />All this of course is what I want to be doing and strive to do. I'm still a work in progress :)<br /><br />Good luck with the wait. Try not to stress it since you can't do anything about it now.challhttp://chall-dreams.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923282658637824205.post-27805863788647930622013-05-30T08:15:58.082-07:002013-05-30T08:15:58.082-07:00This is going to sound pretty ridiculous but after...This is going to sound pretty ridiculous but after I saw The Secret years ago, I feel that I need to expect success (and imagine how I would feel when that happens) in order to get a grant funded or a paper published. You may start laughing now.InBabyAttachModehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07895094545069682233noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923282658637824205.post-6592022270295357272013-05-30T08:10:50.857-07:002013-05-30T08:10:50.857-07:00I just expect rejection now. I am constantly delig...I just expect rejection now. I am constantly delighted when that is not the case.<br /><br />Rejection is difficult for early career academics, because they often get into academia because they are <b>good</b> at this stuff. They were often one of "the smart kids" in school. They never confronted systematic rejection or failure...<br /><br />.... and then they hit grad school. I know of nobody who got through grad school without dealing with failure and rejection. It's the subtext in <a href="http://neurodojo.blogspot.com/2011/06/why-your-trainee-sucks-and-how-to-fix.html" rel="nofollow">this post</a> about working with trainees.Zen Faulkeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07811309183398223358noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923282658637824205.post-28422433148258845212013-05-30T08:03:27.719-07:002013-05-30T08:03:27.719-07:00Your tweet was the inspiration for this post ;-). ...Your tweet was the inspiration for this post ;-). It made me once again realize that I find this the hardest part of being a scientist. So many rejections that sometimes it's hard to see all the things to celebrate.InBabyAttachModehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07895094545069682233noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923282658637824205.post-41358236240786461572013-05-30T07:58:41.968-07:002013-05-30T07:58:41.968-07:00Rejection is really hard. During the last 5 years,...Rejection is really hard. During the last 5 years, I wrote 50 grants. After 2 initial successes, I had a string of 35 rejections, with 5 of the last 15 being successful. However, that ended up being too late for my tenure decision. After being turned down for tenure, having spent all that time and sacrificed YEARS of salary and retirement benefits, I felt like a failure. It was funny, because it also felt freeing. Luckily, I had 16 months to figure out my next career move. I spent 2-3 months listening to what my body told me, and I turned down a damn good job offer because I knew that was the wrong path. Listening to how I felt when I thought about different types of careers helped guide me to where I'm transitioning in August. That huge disappointment was a blessing in disguise, as it's leading me to my next career path (starting in August) that may be the best thing that I've ever done. travelingeneticisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04039168037398606000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923282658637824205.post-28485697510506250382013-05-30T07:53:02.387-07:002013-05-30T07:53:02.387-07:00Thanks for your post. :) It is extremely timely fo...Thanks for your post. :) It is extremely timely for me. I talked with my PI and he was very positive about it (it was the first submission, my application was discussed, my priority score was ok). I'm going to leave early today and enjoy time with Kiddo-- and do some retail therapy. Amanda@Lady Scientisthttp://biochemgradstudent.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923282658637824205.post-87459045971213699982013-05-30T07:26:39.379-07:002013-05-30T07:26:39.379-07:00Rejection in any sphere of life is difficult. I fi...Rejection in any sphere of life is difficult. I find as scientist we pour our hearts and souls into our work (and are definitely *not* in it for the money or glory) - so rejection can be crushing as the work is often an extension of who we are. As a woman scientist I feel particularly sensitive to the sacrifices I have made over the last decade+ to be where I am today, thus rejections always make me ask "Is this worth it? Have I made the right choice?". Girlfriends or female mentors/colleagues make such a difference (for me personally) to help overcome the low after a rejection and keep going after my aspirations. There is nothing like a b*tching session over some totally delicious fatty foods or sweets to help get through a funk and on with life again. With or without the alcohol :-) Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07336846686173981108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923282658637824205.post-6859467637831416382013-05-30T07:17:40.801-07:002013-05-30T07:17:40.801-07:00Oh I totally forgot about that post (even though I...Oh I totally forgot about that post (even though I commented there myself ;-)..) Thanks for the reminder that it happens to all of us.InBabyAttachModehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07895094545069682233noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923282658637824205.post-46192127826016177122013-05-30T07:10:43.925-07:002013-05-30T07:10:43.925-07:00Shopping!! Retail therapy always works. You don...Shopping!! Retail therapy always works. You don't get a grant, but you still get something, like a new pair of shoes! Also, you can read <a href="http://scientopia.org/blogs/drbecca/2013/03/20/everybody-poops-and-gets-rejected/#comments" rel="nofollow">all 61 comments</a> on my "everybody gets rejected" post, so you won't feel so alone in your disappointment.Dr Beccahttp://scientopia.org/blogs/drbeccanoreply@blogger.com